Madonna life after Guy Ritchie »
Gibbleguts Reporter Magnumb Farce Goes Inside Madonna
With unrest in Africa, an economic melt down in the U.S., and two wars raging in the Middle East the question right now on most peoples’ minds is, so how the heck is Madonna’s love life going since she and Guy what-his-name split up?
We were wondering too, so we dispatched Gibbleguts.com’s crack correspondent, Magnumb Farce, to find out. We have him now by cell-phone.
GG: Magnumb, can you hear us?
MF: Yes, Loud and clear.
GG: Magnumb, you are in Scotland in the quaint township of Uhggghhgughhhhwewruhr.
MF: Ah, Gaelic is a magical language isn’t it?
GG: Magnumb, just how close to the reigning rock icon have you been able to get?
MF: I am in her vagina.
GG: Excuse me?
MF: I figured the only way to get the straight goods on the singer’s love life was to get in close. I was hiding in shrubbery at her castle here. She dropped a gardening tool, bent over to get it, the opportunity presented itself -I took it.
GG: So, Magnumb, in order to get an exclusive, showing a true reporter’s instincts, in order to pursue the story wherever it took you, you kicked off your shoes and…
MF: No, I’ve still got my shoes on.
GG: So, with split seconds to make your decision, you drop your laptop and leap in…
MF: I brought my laptop.
GG: Knowing that your single suitcase is safe back at the Ramada, you scramble into…
MF: No, I had the luggage with me. I brought it in. Three bags. And as you know, I always bring my Labrador retriever, Shep, on assignments with me.
GG: Shep is with you?
MF: Just begging me to throw the frisbee again.
GG: Still, even with the dog, it must be a lonely vigil.
MF: Yes, it is . There’s a French television crew in here, but you know, they only speak French. Or they’re pretending they only speak French. You know the French.
GG: Yes I do, Magnumb… Yes I do. So, Magnumb, what’s the inside scoop on the Madonna love life?
MF: Well, so far, the superstar songstress hasn’t had a single suitor.
GG: No action whatsoever, is that it, Magnumb?
MF: Not a scintilla. It’s dry as a bone in here.
GG: Thank you, Magnumb. Is there anything else?
MF: Well, I think I’ve found where they hid Jimmy Hoffa’s body.
GG: We’ll have to get back to you on that one, Magnumb.
MF: Thank you.
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