Today's Jokes:


Snake Visits Doctor
An old snake goes to see his doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes," he says, "I can't see well at all these days." The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in two weeks.

Two weeks later the snake returns and tells the doctor he's very depressed. "What's the problem?" the doctor asks, "Didn't the glasses help?"

"The glasses are fine, Doc," he says, "but I just discovered I've been living with a garden hose the past four years!"

NFL Game
A man was watching an NFL game when his wife came into the living room and asked him if he would like to make love.

"After the game," he replied, not even taking his eyes off the screen. "You do realize that you can record it?" she asked.

"Okay," he replied, "Get the camcorder, and I'll meet you upstairs when the game is over."