Hit a Lawyer
A man happens upon a friend and sees that his friend's car is wrecked
and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt,and blood. He asks his
friend, "What happened to your car?" "Well," the friend responses, "I
ran into a lawyer." "OK," says the man, "that explains the blood...
But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches, and the dirt?"
"Well, I had to chase him all through the park."
A blonde buys a handgun at a local pawn shop because she
thinks her husband is cheating on her. When she gets home,
she finds her husband in bed with a woman. The Blonde grabs
the gun out of her purse, loads it and points it at her own head.
Her husband seeing this starts screaming at her not to Shoot.
The blonde replies "Shut up stupid! You're next!"