As if tobacco companies didn’t have enough nicotine-stained alligators climbing up their asses, newly uncovered documents indicate that tobacco companies used candy cigarettes as a way to introduce young children to the joys of smoking/lung cancer. Of course, the major tobacco manufacturers vehemently deny such scurrilous accusations.

In other related news, medical equipment manufacturers are planning a new line of oxygen cylinders for emphysema patients, that will feature cartoon characters.

GIBBLEGUTS.COM RANT
A British poll reveals that Prince Edward’s wife,
Sophie Rhys-Jones, the Countess of Insipid, is
regarded as the most useless member of the
Royal Family. This in itself is quite a feat,
considering who she was up against:

Fergie, the Duchess of Pork, who has the same
grace and style as Rosanne Barr in a bar fight.

Prince Charles, who spent most of his adult life
playing polo and having a sordid affair with a
haggard, upper-class twit behind his wife’s back.

The Queen, who has the sensitivity and compassion
of a baracuda going after a school of herring.

Prince Phillip-the hardest work he’s done in his life is to get his own gin & tonic.

The only normal life forms at Buckingham Palace
are the corgis.

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